The Golden Rule of Dating

The Golden Rule of dating is the same as the Golden Rule for life. Treat others as you would want to be treated.

Some dating sites, like Match.com, make it easy to be polite. If someone sends you an email and you're not interested, the site has several brief prepared responses to gently tell your suitor, "thanks, but no thanks".

I received the following email from a 38 year old man who lived several hours away.

"Hi, I'm XXXXX, and WOW! I loved what you wrote in your profile. Of course I also found you extremely attractive,
with a BEAUTIFUL smile. If we lived closer I'd definitely offer to take you out. Just my luck. It figures. I guess it's
refreshing to know there actually ARE some good ones out there, somewhere. I apologize if my complimentary email
was annoying. Hopefully it was not. Have a great day pretty lady."

This guy went out of his way to be nice. I returned the deed and replied with, "Thank you for the compliments. Good luck with your search."

Short and sweet. It's nice to be nice!

Take Away Message: Follow the Golden Rule in all things in life.

How Not to Write Your First Online Email

If you're familiar with my work, then you know how I feel about the first email you receive on an online dating site. This one (I removed the name and number) pretty much speaks for itself:

hey what up sexy,
don,t know what to say,i like ur profil,im interested in u, i wish we meet one day & just talk,but we can txt if u wish XXX XXX XXX NAME hopefully ill hear from u

And people ask why I'm still single. Would you really respond to this?

Take Away Lesson: You NEED to put some thought into your first email! Further, that includes a little spelling and grammar check!

He's Out of My League

We've all seen it-we walk by a couple and wonder, "What is she doing with him?" Or, "She's so out of his league; how did he land her?" Over the years, here is what I've learned is the answer to account for this. There are no leagues. Sure, people of similar social statures, financial, educational, or physical statuses may have more in common and perhaps, ultimately may have better compatability. But, again, it all comes down to a connection and chemistry. Two people, regardless of whether or not they're on equal footing as far as looks or anything else is concerned, will either have a connection or they won't.

So, don't be afraid to approach the person you think it "out of your league". You never know what type of connection you may have!

Take away lesson: There are no leagues, just connection and chemistry. Take a chance!

Pledge to Either Be Happy with Yourself or Change

It happened again. Another guy told me he was burned by an online dating experience by a girl who posted really old pictures that did not represent her current self. This guy is a good looking, successful business owner, who tried online dating once. He said it was painfully clear that his date had posted really old pictures of herself. Being the nice guy that he is, he didn't mention her false advertising and stayed for the duration of the date. But,feeling duped, he never returned to the world of online dating and later met his current girlfriend at a gym.

Ladies (and gentlemen), you can't deceive and expect it to end well. Either learn to accept yourself and be happy with who you are or commit to improving yourself to be the person you aspire to be.

I've never been a big fan of New Year's resolutions because I adhere to the philosophy that if you really want to make a change, you can decide to do so at any instant and don't need an annual event to push the issue. But, for those who do make resolutions, I suggest you make one to either accept yourself or improve yourself!

Take away lesson: If you aren't comfortable and truthful with yourself, you can't expect anyone else to be comfortable or truthful with you.