An Online Dating Email No-No...TMI

After recently posting guidance on how to craft your initial online dating email to someone, I thought today I would highlight a definite "don't"....too much information.

It's okay to provide information one level deeper than what the person could read about in your profile. It's not okay to provide an autobiography of sensitive information that should be revealed over time.

Case in point-Here's an email I received:

"Hey, I just wanted to say hello...
Obviously, I saw your bio/profile. I really liked what you had to say. I thought it was great/sincere. BTW, your photos are brilliant too! ;)

Well, here's a little more information about me...
My tenure on-line started a few months ago... Just really wanted to see what it was all about, perhaps meet someone interesting / see where that leads... I've made a few contacts but nothing spectacular has happened to date. ...There is so much trite out there (in those profiles) its kind of hard to sort out the real people... Notwithstanding, I'm still searching for my oasis in this cyber-desert (how's that for an abstract metaphor? ...lol) and if I don't find her -perhaps at least I'll meet my doppelganger -which could be fun too :)

I have such an affinity with "timing" -I just have to believe everything happens for a reason... That whole concept of fate/destiny really fascinates me... I believe in windows of opportunities...

Lets see, I got divorced in 2009. I have 3 children; 2 sons & a daughter (ages 17,15 & 11). I share joint custody w/my ex. It works out pretty well... I work for a major IT company doing R&D for numerous fortune 500 clients -I'm very engaged in cutting-edge technologies.

I'm also a real movie buff; l enjoy dramas, dark comedies, & the occasional suspense/thriller. I have a appreciation for art & poetry -even try to do a little painting & writing in my spare time. Lately, I've been taking my kids to a lot concerts & sporting events. We're big sports fans & the music endeavors range from alternative to rock. We have a blast!

Lastly, I love banter -the cerebral witty stuff really resonates w/me...
If you would like to communicate? -drop me a note. Hope to hear from you...

PS My pics are current, the profile pic is from this month (the other ones are all less than 4mo's old) and I weigh 185lbs ...just keeping it real ;)

PS2 I work in the Bedminster area ...just thought it was worth mentioning"

Have I made my point? Way too much info and way too soon.

Take away lesson: Leave some information to be revealed at a later time when emailing someone on a dating site!

Men Must Be Men

It's tough for guys to put themselves out there. I get it. But, a confident, take-charge kind of guy is appealing!

On numerous occasions after a date, I've received the "It was great meeting you. Let me know if you'd like to do it again." text message. In a way, it conveys interest and sounds polite to let the woman decide, but what I want to say is, "Step up and ask me out on a second date if you want a second date!" I've never actually said that, though. Guys, don't put the pressure on the girls. We want to be pursued. If you were interested, go out on a limb and ask us out. Worst case scenario? We say no, but you'll probably never run into us again...not so bad, right?

Take Away Lesson: Men, be men! If you're interested, show it by asking the girl out again. Oh, most importantly, this should be done either on the phone or in person (at the end of the first date), not over text message!