Some basics-texting

For my first post, I thought I'd start with a basic issue that irks me...texting. Texting is a great way to keep in communication with someone and gauge their interest, but it has to be used in the right way.

Let's look at a quick online dating scenario. You and I found eachother on a dating website. We've exchanged several emails and you've asked for my number. So far, we're off to a good start, right? I give you my number and a few days later, receive a text telling me what town you're thinking of going out to for a drink that night and asking if I have any interest in joining you. Let's hit the pause button--what just happened? First off, you never gave me your number, so when I receive your text, I can only assume it's you. Second, THIS is our first form of communication outside of email? Don't set up a date over text message unless you're simply finalizing the details of the plan. If I give you my number, I expect you to pick up the phone and call (and, I'll add, within a reasonable amount of time), not text me.

Guys, if you're able to get the digits, be a man, pick up the phone and ask the girl out.

Here's another reason I would NEVER agree to a date over text message with someone I've never spoken to on the phone-safety. Ladies, be smart and be careful. As it is, with online dating, you're meeting a stranger. Believe me when I tell you that a brief conversation can reveal a lot about a person and in many instances, I've decided to not agree to a date after one phone call because of red flags that were raised during the discussion. The flags can range from anything as simple as personality clashes to incessant use of pet names, like "cutie" or "sweetie". If someone is using affectionate nicknames towards someone they've never met, they're either not genuine or looking for an insta-girlfriend. Either way, run.

After the first date, I think texting is a great way to put out a feeler to see if the person is interested. Generally speaking, I think the female may be the more insecure of the two sexes, so I think it's incumbent upon the guy to reach out, if he's interested. However, a few days after the first date, one of you has to pick up the phone and call the other one, again, if you're interested. Communication is the only way to get to know eachother better and this can't be done as effectively through text messages. Being that I'm looking for a guy with old fashioned manners, I would look for the guy to make that call. But, if the guy took the first step to initiate texting after the first date, then the girl may want to show her interest by making the first post-date call.

Take-away lesson: Use text messages strategically. They should never be used as the first point of contact and should never be used to ask someone out on a first date.