Let's face it. Wanting or not wanting a first date with someone usually comes down to the level of physical attraction. In the online dating world, you have two things to go off of to decide if you want to go on a first date with the person-pictures and the profile. When you "meet" someone online, you miss out on seeing them in action, experiencing their charm, and feeling any chemistry. ALL you have is a still picture and some words on a computer screen. I'll spend some time addressing do's and don't's for online dating profiles in future posts, but today, I'm going to focus on the pictures.
In case it hasn't already been made clear, every piece of information in these blogs will always be real. This is a real-life glimpse into the dating world (from my perspective of course!). To respect the anonymity of all, I'll never disclose anyone's name. In future entries, I'll talk about not coming off as jaded by the dating process in your online profile (and show you an example of a guy who should have taken my advice). To be clear, I'm not jaded by this single life--just thought I'd finally share some of the lessons I've learned along the way in a very direct and sarcastic manner that is classically...me!
LIVE by these rules!
#1 No pics=no date. Plain and simple. What are you hiding?
#2 More than one picture is needed. People can look very different in multiple photographs.
#3 Include a full body shot and a headshot. Here's where some false advertising can come into play. Posting only headshots leaves a person wondering what the rest of you looks like and again, this is a game of attraction.
Here are some more general pointers. This one is more for the guys. Don't only post pictures in which you are wearing a hat. As we get older, women want to see what's under that hat!
Avoid posting group pictures. First off, these pictures tend to be taken from further away, thus making it more hard to see detail. Next, sometimes it's hard to pick out which one the right person is! Finally, think hard before posting a picture of you standing directly next to someone else of the same sex. The person looking at the picture may just think the other person is more attractive! (Ouch! Sorry, it's true.) Also, if you're cropping someone out of the picture, for God's sake, do a good cropping job! Particularly if you're cropping out someone of the opposite sex, chances are, people are going to think it was a pic of you and an ex.
Post recent pictures. This gets back to false advertising. Be honest with people. You would want the same respect. She or he is going to find out eventually if you meet!
Keep in mind that you'll likely attract what you are advertising. So, a pic of you with your finger up your nose (no lie; a 31 year old man in NY did this), you're going to attract a "special" type. Also, keep your shirts on! Again, be mindful of what you're trying to attract. If you're only looking for something physical, then have at it.
Don't include pictures of pets, landscapes, cars, etc. You can convey what your interests are in the written profile. Again, the pics are about being able to decide if there is physical attraction.
Here's my favorite one....drum roll.....For the love of God, find a friend, a relative, a trained monkey, ANYONE to take your picture for you! No more bathroom mirror cell phone pictures, please!
When looking at someone else's pictures, here's a tip that comes in handy. Look for date/time stamps on the pictures. This is obviously the best way to tell how old someone's picture is.
Now, didn't you learn a lot here today? :)
Take away lesson: Keep it clean. Be honest. Take recent pictures and have someone else actually take the picture!
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