Yes, after years of the single life and internet dating, it would be very easy to become jaded by the whole process. I caution against this because you never know if the next person you meet or the next person who reads your profile will be "the one" and if your negativity is glaring, it will likely be a big turn off.
I encountered a profile of a 30-year old in New York whose headline was "No drama please". By far, the most obnoxious profile I ever came across was that of a psychotherapist. He was a decent looking guy and with my background in psychology, I thought there could be a common ground between us and perhaps chemistry, so I read the profile. I'll let you be the judge of who needs therapy.
Here is his profile:
"About me: Psychotherapist. Singer/songwriter. Very active. Extremely athletic. Foodie. Concert-goer. Bar-hopper. Witty. Driven. Kind-hearted. Competitive. Free-spirited. I'm what you get if Sigmeund Freud and Amy Winehouse had a **stard child. Meaning I'm an analytical thinker that loves to party. But, somehow I didn't develop a bad drug habit.
About you: You are bold, kind, and attempting to be peaceful. Your concerns in life are how to be a better person, how to enjoy little moments, and how to cope with the issues in the world today. Materialistic demands are inconsequential. Mostly, you are on a path to knowing who you are and we can share that journey together. Unfortunately, most on here seem to be Gucci on the outside and Kmart on the inside, so this might be a stretch.
About us: We are best friends whom kiss. We travel. We laugh, dance, and frolic (literally and figuratively). We cherish our moments together, yet respect each others independence. We enjoy other's company whether we are people-watching on a bench or during a crazy night out. It's good times. It's special. It's little moments.
****INTERNET DATING****
In my experience, I’ve learned that nobody is going to read what I’m about to write. Yet, I’m writing and posting it anyway, so not sure what that says about me. Actually, that’s not fair. A few people will read this essay. Most will assume it’s over-analysis because I’m a psychologist. And your assumptions will be wrong. It’s commentary.
Apparently women (and when I refer to women, I’m referring to the greater majority on internet dating sites) are perfectly satisfied describing themselves with adjectives and common phrases. You all (and by all I mean 90 percent of you) are the following things: fun, outgoing, down to earth, love to stay in, but also go out, love your family, and love your friends. That’s great and I’m sure all these things are true, not that it matters. What is striking is that women (yes, internet daters) would rather list a string of supposedly desirable characteristics than write an interesting profile. I could ask why. But, I suppose there are several reasons. I am just hoping the main reason isn’t that they are not capable of doing so. Meaning go ahead and tell me you're intelligent despite your profile of mispelled words. As long as you have a reason for it.
It’s almost more interesting when I come across a profile with the headline, “not trashy and not looking to hook up,” which is then followed by pictures of the very same girl posing in front of the mirror in thigh highs and showing enough cleavage to fill my morning orange juice glass.
Also it seems a lot of you want a "real man," that doesn't "play games." Those two statements are only in 75.6 percent of all profiles. I'm not sure what either means except apparantly most of you don't desire a Robot that plays Pictionary.
Perhaps the worst part about all of this is that you (the internet dater I might or might not be referring to) expect a witty e-mail from a male in pursuit of your fun, outgoing, down to earth self. Some even go as far as to request it. Many profiles say things like, “don’t come at me with hey what’s up” or “if you write me have something original to say, not just how’s your day.” Or some say something in the vein of “I’m going to delete your e-mail if you come at me with, hey ma, what’s crackalacking soul sister,” (Ok I made that last one up).
What’s left? We are all judged based upon how we look. This is a consequence of the mass of unoriginally written profiles (87.45 percent of profiles). There is nothing left to separate one women from another. I guess it should not come as much surprise that internet dating has evolved into a microcosm of superficiality and materialism, which engulfs our society. But, I am not here to discuss that. The point is...Wait, what's the point :)"
Take away lesson: Keep things positive, even if it's a struggle.
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